Probably one of the hardest/saddest things I come across in my calls is how badly these men think of themselves. They feel pathetic, or shameful and even guilty for their desires.
And honestly, they shouldn’t feel that way.
I see the most shame and guilt centered around the most benign fetishes or fantasies. Like listening to a woman pee. Not watching, not tasting, just hearing a woman urinate is arousing. This person was so embarrassed and ashamed, he couldn’t talk to his wife about it, he kept deleting his accounts in an effort to quit the fantasy cold turkey.
Sure it is a little strange at first, I am sure most of us would not be able to relate. But then he took a moment to explain a little bit why, it is because he sees it as incredibly intimate. How vulnerable a woman is in that moment, the relaxation of release and the trust it takes to be that comfortable to allow another person near. Well, when he explained it like that it wasn’t all that difficult to see why that would be hot.
I am not saying I now share his kink, but I get it. How heartbreaking is it that he just wants to feel closer to his spouse but is so afraid to ask. So afraid of rejection from the woman he married to even try.
It changed my goals as a PSO a bit. Like ultimately my goal is satisfy my customers, I want them happy and relaxed after every interaction with me, but now I also need them to feel safe with me. I need them to know they can tell me whatever they need to say, explore whatever they need to explore and know that I will not judge them. I will accept them as they are and do my best to make them smile.
It breaks my heart that these kind, generous, fun, interesting men feel like they have nothing of value and so they turn to me for solace, comfort and even excitement. I want to be sure I give them something more than a great cum.
Now, I just have to figure out how.