In one of the PSO forums I frequent I came across a query about FinDom and how to handle those calls and how to tell if they are “real” FinDom guys. I really fucking loved my response, so I decided to share the whole thing on my blog as well.
Q: Well I had this customer approach me saying he loved e main things boots, humiliation, &wallet domination. I a alot of money out of him in only an hour and then scheduled a humiliation session two days later. He never called and Actually deleted his account. My question is how to know if a findom customer is real? Do you quickly get the amount you desire from them or play it cool?
A: I won’t pretend I am an expert on FinDom by any means, but I have been researching this, so I feel like I may have some tips.
1. definitely play it cool, even if your rent is late and you’re screaming inside “thank the gods for sending you a findom guy”, on the outside it needs to be NBD. You don’t need his money, it just amuses you take it from him. The longer you can keep him turned on and at the edge the more he will throw at you.
2. The fact he deleted his account probably has nothing to do with you and more to do with “buyers remorse”, he is feeling guilt and sort of hungover from spending on that money (maybe money he didn’t have), now that he isn’t thinking with his dick he is like fuuuuuuuuck. Chances are he will be back, it’s really like an addiction for these guys.
3. With any of my sub guys I am trying to incorporate after-care, some won’t need it and if it’s obvious it’s all light and fun and games I don’t bother, but sometimes it can be really intense. I have had guys go through huge emotional revelations, they have pushed themselves farther than they thought possible, the really got into “subspace”. And so I quickly ask as we are wrapping up if they are familiar with aftercare, and do they know how to take care of themselves. I tell them to stretch, drink water, eat a little something, and let me know if they need anything from me. I tell them they can email and I will make myself available to them. Loving is the word to keep in mind, even if it was just a hardcore FemDom session and he asked for humiliation, after he cums, switch to loving. (only for guys that are fucked up from the session, light and fun guys- don’t break character. You will be able to tell)
4. As far as “Real FinDom” guys I use the Sugar Daddy/Splenda Daddy/Salt Daddy categories. To me Findom and Sugar Daddies are two sides of the same coin. I treat almost all findom guys like Splenda Daddies, which are guys who actually want the lifestyle that have the genuine fetish, but don’t have the money to make it real. As long as they keep paying my per minute rate I will act like they are the “real deal” but secretly never get my hopes up or plan on them actually making good on their claims. The fake ones AKA salt daddies are easy to spot, they will say shit like “I am going to spend xxx$ on you, but since it’s such a large amount I want to make sure you are worth it, so send me free xxxxxx.” If they were the real deal, they wouldn’t ask or expect free things from you ever. Some try and play like “Oh, I have been burned in the past and I just wanna be sure you’re the real deal.” Well you have been burned by salt daddies in the past too, your time or pics or whatever always have value. That doesn’t change ever, so he can pay what your charging or bounce. So if he is nervous about getting a “raw deal” tough shit, thats the nature of these relationships. My plan to hit back with that BS is client feedback. Like here, see what other FinDom guys are saying about my skills, thats all the reassurance a “real” findom guy needs.
5. Sexual guilt is a really common thing, and it isn’t always attached to fetishes, I have had guys who were pretty vanilla constantly try and quit phone sex “cold turkey” just to always come back. Learning how to spot and help your clients through it will mean better business for you and healthier emotional relationships with these guys. This is a skill I still developing myself.
6. With findom guys it can be tricky guessing their budget and hitting numbers that excite them but aren’t so outrageous that they are immediately turned off. So I am going to try using percentages. Like your cum tax is 5% of your average weekly income. Or whatever, I haven’t tested it yet, so I dunno how well it will work in action, so we will see.
Hope this helps!