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FinDom Advice

In one of the PSO forums I frequent I came across a query about FinDom and how to handle those calls and how to tell if they are “real” FinDom guys. I really fucking loved my response, so I decided to share the whole thing on my blog as well.

Q: Well I had this customer approach me saying he loved e main things boots, humiliation, &wallet domination. I a alot of money out of him in only an hour and then scheduled a humiliation session two days later. He never called and Actually deleted his account. My question is how to know if a findom customer is real? Do you quickly get the amount you desire from them or play it cool?

A: I won’t pretend I am an expert on FinDom by any means, but I have been researching this, so I feel like I may have some tips.

1. definitely play it cool, even if your rent is late and you’re screaming inside “thank the gods for sending you a findom guy”, on the outside it needs to be NBD. You don’t need his money, it just amuses you take it from him. The longer you can keep him turned on and at the edge the more he will throw at you.

2. The fact he deleted his account probably has nothing to do with you and more to do with “buyers remorse”, he is feeling guilt and sort of hungover from spending on that money (maybe money he didn’t have), now that he isn’t thinking with his dick he is like fuuuuuuuuck. Chances are he will be back, it’s really like an addiction for these guys.

3. With any of my sub guys I am trying to incorporate after-care, some won’t need it and if it’s obvious it’s all light and fun and games I don’t bother, but sometimes it can be really intense. I have had guys go through huge emotional revelations, they have pushed themselves farther than they thought possible, the really got into “subspace”. And so I quickly ask as we are wrapping up if they are familiar with aftercare, and do they know how to take care of themselves. I tell them to stretch, drink water, eat a little something, and let me know if they need anything from me. I tell them they can email and I will make myself available to them. Loving is the word to keep in mind, even if it was just a hardcore FemDom session and he asked for humiliation, after he cums, switch to loving. (only for guys that are fucked up from the session, light and fun guys- don’t break character. You will be able to tell)

4. As far as “Real FinDom” guys I use the Sugar Daddy/Splenda Daddy/Salt Daddy categories. To me Findom and Sugar Daddies are two sides of the same coin. I treat almost all findom guys like Splenda Daddies, which are guys who actually want the lifestyle that have the genuine fetish, but don’t have the money to make it real. As long as they keep paying my per minute rate I will act like they are the “real deal” but secretly never get my hopes up or plan on them actually making good on their claims. The fake ones AKA salt daddies are easy to spot, they will say shit like “I am going to spend xxx$ on you, but since it’s such a large amount I want to make sure you are worth it, so send me free xxxxxx.” If they were the real deal, they wouldn’t ask or expect free things from you ever. Some try and play like “Oh, I have been burned in the past and I just wanna be sure you’re the real deal.” Well you have been burned by salt daddies in the past too, your time or pics or whatever always have value. That doesn’t change ever, so he can pay what your charging or bounce. So if he is nervous about getting a “raw deal” tough shit, thats the nature of these relationships. My plan to hit back with that BS is client feedback. Like here, see what other FinDom guys are saying about my skills, thats all the reassurance a “real” findom guy needs.

5. Sexual guilt is a really common thing, and it isn’t always attached to fetishes, I have had guys who were pretty vanilla constantly try and quit phone sex “cold turkey” just to always come back. Learning how to spot and help your clients through it will mean better business for you and healthier emotional relationships with these guys. This is a skill I still developing myself.

6. With findom guys it can be tricky guessing their budget and hitting numbers that excite them but aren’t so outrageous that they are immediately turned off. So I am going to try using percentages. Like your cum tax is 5% of your average weekly income. Or whatever, I haven’t tested it yet, so I dunno how well it will work in action, so we will see.

Hope this helps!

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French Postcards

I absolutely adore French Postcards. I think they are beautiful and never fail to inspire me. I really would love to do several picture series inspired directly by French Postcards. Some done in a very traditional look and vibe and others with a modern twist. Pumping these out will be my focus in October!

French Postcards are postcards from the late 19th and early 20th centuries with erotic content. Here are some examples of my favorite model, Miss Fernande.

Check out more beautiful images at http://www.helmut-schmidt-online.de/Boudoir-Cards/fp-models-Fernande.html

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Goodies

As promised I have created more goodies throughout the month of August and a have a few more up my sleeve for September.

I posted my very first video and realized I have officially made porn. 0.0

While I don’t like watching porn I very much love making it! I am finding I rather enjoy the notoriety that comes with working in the Adult Industry. Yes, I am one of those women. And I fucking love it.

September is shaping up to be a busy month for filming. I have a custom video order, 3 new video ideas, plus I have decided to run a 3 day special for Mabon with exclusive content only available for those 3 days.

Oh, and it’s my Birthday Month!

I love fall.

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VIP

I recently heard about this fantastic listing Flirts will create for their favorite customers. They keep it unpublished so only those given a direct link can call it and have access to the flirt for a lower rate than is offered on her public listings.

The criteria for being eligible for the VIP listing is usually spending a certain amount of money (1000$ was bandied about often) on the Flirt in a 30 day period.

I absolutely love this idea, of creating a special experience for the men I enjoy and invest me. I think I will take it a step further and that VIP membership gives them not only access to the exclusive line, but any new content would be sent to them first and at a discounted rate, and a surprise free goody would be sent regularly.

I think the trade off in giving these guys preferential treatment would be that I would limit how many could be in the VIP group. This isn’t a Costco Membership, this is only for the very best men. Maybe only like 5 members at a time, and they would need to meet certain criteria beyond just spending x amount of money.

I don’t think this would be something I would market either, again this isn’t Costco. Sending a mass email to everyone saying do this to be VIP cheapens the experience. If a caller happens to meet the criteria one month, he would get a congratulatory email informing him he qualified for this exclusive group this month and everything he could look forward too.  Once a VIP he could then ask about how to maintain his status.

Each month I would create a new link and deactivate the old, and just because you were VIP one month doesn’t mean you automatically qualify the next month.

Obviously, I still have some details to work out and I don’t think I will have this VIP ready to go anytime soon, but I am excited about the possibility of it in the future.

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Purple Jolly Ranchers

Searching the web for inspiration this lovely evening and I have stumbled upon an image that left me in awe.

Of course, I had to come right over and share with Y’all.

Now the image is of a woman encased in a super reflective latex body suit with a purple sheen to it. She LITERALLY looks like poured candy and it blew my mind.

Check it out:

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SEE! Like a Jolly Rancher.This gorgeous piece of art was created by Reflective Desires. Here is their website: http://ReflectiveDesire.com.

I found this image here: https://fetlife.com/users/73476/pictures/60526704 and you can view it much greater detail.

The above image is not even doing it justice because I had to enlarge it. Go to the link, trust me.

Plus- dat ass.

Now I am not saying this is a new fetish for me, but I’m not not saying that either. I just know I want to look like poured hard candy.

If nothing else I definitely have a sweet tooth for latex now.

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PSO Bullet Journal

I discovered Bullet Journaling a few months ago and it changed my life. If you have never heard of a Bullet Journal check out http://bulletjournal.com/ for the basics and check out http://www.bohoberry.com/favorite-bullet-journal-spreads/ for an idea of just how far you can go with this system.

I have experimented a lot with my spreads and trying to find that sweet spot of beauty and efficiency. I decided to share with you my dedicated Business Bujo today as I think I may have found that sweet spot.

  1. Vision and Mission

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I found that I don’t need indexing and keys in my business journal, so I skip those and jump right into my spreads.

Pg 1 is my company/brand Vision, Mission and Core Values.

The Vision is a big picture of what you want to achieve.

The Mission is a general statement of how you will achieve your vision.

Core Values are how you will behave during the process.

I decided to put this spread right next to my modified “year at a glance” spread so that I have a constant reminder of what I am working towards.

2. Year at a Glance. Sort of.

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Typically a year at a glance is another calendar/future log. I wanted something I could track my progress throughout the year in one spot. I played with a few different layouts before I came up with this. I am really pleased with the turnout, and I think it will be perfect for comparing my month to month.

3. Braindumps/Brainstorm ideas

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These are places I can quickly jot down ideas for photoshoots and blogs. I will write the idea on a sticky note, so once its used I can toss and reuse the the space for the next idea. plus I needed an excuse to use these adorable sticky pads.

4. Monthly Log

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Typically these will have a calender with dates of actives. Now this is my Business Bujo, but I also have a personal Bujo. It made more sense to have the calendar and appointments and deadlines all in my personal Bujo to avoid double scheduling.

So I have a habit tracker specifically for the habits concerning my business. I added a workout habit tracker here to remind myself that my body is also my job if I am serious about expanding into webcam shows.

Also as you can see, an event list. Here I will jot down holidays, political events and changes to my business. Anything that I think might affect my business. That way if let’s say I do horribly in October, but July was my best month, I can flip to July to see what was going on and if I can implement any of those things to bounce back in November.

This will most likely change, but I think its a great start.

The next page will be a running to-do list of things specifically for the business. I tried incorporating my business to-do with personal to-do, and it wasn’t effective.

Anyways, that’s pretty much what I have so far. I will keep updating you with changes, and also talk about my other tracking methods, and possibly even share some downloads for the aspiring phone sex operator.